I can text with my tongue
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
