look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
