Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
