I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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