carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
MIDGETS
????
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
