if you like me you must not know who I am
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
