Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
