I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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