My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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