I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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