How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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