I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
