She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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