It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
