you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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