she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
