i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
