3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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