i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
