Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
