hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
