...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just found puke in my bra..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
