How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
