I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
