Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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