How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
jump out the window naked night went bad
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
that may or may not have been my penis.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
