youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
