12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
