I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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