yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
