I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
