you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
