His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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