one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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