I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
