chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
