Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
