And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
