I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Couch. On fire.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
