i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
