Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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