Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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