Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
