I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
