i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
