remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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