chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
