i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
