Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
