That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
